Below is a grate picture i.e. a picture of a grate, taken in Cadiz.

If he only he had just passed water!

Ageless Lancastrian Charles Jepson (left) sent me the picture (right) to advertise a bike jumble. I assumed it was him in his halcyon days.

Charles has contacted me and said that the picture is NOT him. He suggests that the depicted cyclist is a "fast man" and Charles vehemently denies he has ever been such. Sorry for the slur, Charles.

The picture take at Recyclo bike shop, Malaga, shows that Brookes are all the rage in Spain. The fixie revolution demands them. These could be made from Spanish bulls-bits, though!?
Meanwhile it might be time to again reproduce a cheeky advert of the nineties. Readers might like to email what either of them (ie persons) might be saying.
I will have to decide if they are printable!!!!
He says "Brooks to see you Mr.Cameron! Rebecca, I think, She wants to go riding with you".

Problem page

This website is not merely a list of bike jumbles but tries to impart views and information, and reach the heart and soul of all cyclists. It has lacked a problems page but this, too, is about to be rectified

Dear Sir,
I write to you as a very worried male cyclist.
I have great concerns about my wife's conduct. There are those muffled phone conversations, texts from NobbieX, her diligent watching out for the postman. I can never remember all the vases in the house being full, many with red roses (despite, I believe, being out of season). There has been an increasing number of those "girls' nights out".

On one such night I decided to go and hide in the bike shed to await her return. A car appeared, driven by a man. After a couple of minutes she stepped out of the car. I saw her adjusting her clothes, swatting her skirt with a brush and finally applying some lipstick. She blew a kiss to the driver as he pulled away.

At that moment, in the dim light of the shed, I noticed a hairline crack on the fork of my Mercian.
What I was wondering was whether I should get it welded, brazed or should rather get it replaced?

Yours, Bob

Dear Agnes,
My name is Beryl,
My husband has been acting very strangely. He spends hours on the computer. I have found he has been using something called titter . I know this an expression for laughter but wonder if it has a more lustful connoctation? Anyhow, that is not what I am concerned about, since he has disappeared. He announced that he was off out to get a puncture repair outfit as I had run into some thorns on my way to Lidl. That was six days ago.

Agnes : How are you coping on your own??

Beryl : Fine, I've fixed the puncture.

A salutary true tale

The article (left) is lifted from Private Eye and not, as you might think, from Readers Digest,
The Serb of unpronouncible surname has, no doubt, tried to do what we all have considered doing. "Eating ones hat" is quite normal, and has recently been practiced by Rugby Union fans who thought England were going to win the World Cup (or even play well). Having eaten what he has done, then a bike was a natural progression. He does seem to be a hungry chap. Surely eating a horse would be next, unless he has already been to a McDonalds. Mr Crnogorac would be quite welcome at the average bike jumble where he could save sellers from having to take their unsold stuff home with them.

Branko seems to have made only one mistake. The picture, which we have to take as a true record, clearly show that he is eating not only a pedal but the crank as well. He should have seperated the crank from the pedal!!! It seems probable that due to a lack of lubrication of the pedal thread before fitting, the pedal was effectively chemically welded (or "f***ing stuck as the say in the trade). The pedal alone would have slipped down like a Whitstable oyster down the gullet of Fred "the Shred" Goodwin. (hopefully choking the latter, if by pedal or oyster, no matter). So, it's all down to maintenance!

Be warned!!!!

NB my article has resisted pedaling tyred puns and wheely re-cycled silliness. I could have called Mr B.C. a crank!

I have just read a story "Cyclist poisoned by Whitstable oyster". I will pass this story on soon.

Ebay bargain (last of, on this website)

This possibly represents a quick release of some cyclists' child's piggybank.
At this price delivery involves a skewerity issue!
A piece of cycling History. The Worlds first hub incorporating a quick release skewer and - Tullio Campagnolo's first product. The advert shown below appeared in Cycling in July 1935.

At least the postage was free!

On the Ebuygum page of this site there is a whole collection of amazingly tempting cycling accessories for the cyclist who has everything - including a very fat fat wallet.
However this is the last I will be putting up on this site. On the whole I believe that Ebay and bike jumbles are strange bedfellows. I champion bike jumbles. Prices are almost always less, and often drastically less, than E**Y and the social aspect of jumbles is wonderful. More and more jumble purchases finish on ****. Though obviously it happens I don't wish to endorse this process. So no more additions to the >Ebuygum page<
Thanks to Nick Hando for spotting - and for Nick, Tom and Dave Buxton for other spottings in the past.

Further to the intrigue of having two Mark Hudsons on the scene, the photo (left) shows someone thought to be one of them. Photo shown for the purposes of elimination and not for publicity. The stereotypical northern whippit is not in evidence, but in any case would not allowed in a scout hall. Nor would it in a Sheffield Church hall on May 14th. He has a jumble then there. So .... publicity after all.

Latest news of some high achievers

Russell Downing, son of Ken (He of the Thurcroft, Rotherham cycle jumble) came a creditable third in the second stage of the Vuelta a Castilla y Leon, in Spain. In doing this he bested one Alberto Contador, famous for perfomance-enhancing rump steaks. Russell rides for Sky. His dad would probably welcome a Sky apron. How about it Russell? (picture above hows an apron-less Ken and next with his nice but worn-out Bianchi number)

The latest argument in pro-cycling seems to surround the use of radios. Why should there be so much fuss about riders wanting to keep up with the Archers???

How I miss Cycling magazine (long since dubbed the Comic). Every now and then there is something really newsworthy in the four pages that alone differ from every other issue. OK there are reviews of cycles you probably could never afford, written by journalists who are overjoyed at being lent a bike for a week.

Having recently seen Mark Beaumont, round the world cyclist, on TV (and Doug Pinkerton on the same night) I am surprized to learn that Mark's round the world record has been beaten, not once, but twice. The first conquerer was James Bowthorpe. He knocked some 20 days off the record. Recently, Derby born Vin Cox has lowered it some more - and it has been ratified by Guinness. He completed it in 2 minutes under 163 days and 7 hours. He gave a talk in Derby Darwin Suite on 23rd June 2011. I have not heard if there is no talk tour organised as yet. Vin has aims to organise a round the world race. As someone who got beaten by nearly an hour by a 74 year old in a 25 miles time trial (Ok it was by John Woodburn) and did a 200k Audax with 1 minute to spare I don't think I'll be on the start line! But don't let me put you off .........
James Bowthorpe pictures - he hopes to raise 1.8m for Parkinson's Disease research

Rather than a chain and changers, a toothed belt and hub gear. James's electronic communications - satphone, satnav, computer, solar charger (and maybe long wave radio to receive Gardener's Question Time on Radio 4).

[added 15th March]

Live bidding intrigue, trying to beat ebay & win before Andy Murray?

I discovered a bell being sold and decided to try and "win" it. . Described as being extremely rare, especially in new condition. I have spent all my life wanting only one of these iconic items. A Vintage Flying Scotsman Bicycle bell!!! It is made by Adey and Nephew for, you guessed it, the Flying Scotsman Bicycle Company. I thought the buy in now prices at 999 was a little high even with free postage.

I was worried that it might be a modern bell used by a Vintage Flying Scotsman? You can see from the excellent picture what a gem it is. I got excited by all this? It could have been a long battle and I might have had to consult my financial adviser.
I dipped my toe in the water, so to speak, and put in a tentative bid of 2.99 (less than a pint of Scottish "beer"). I waited on tenterhooks, but felt a tad pessimistic. Would my hopeful offer be accepted? Only 17 15 days to go.

On 18th March 2011, 2 days after bidding. Bad news!

Weren't the Muppets quite successful? Perhaps more so than this seller might be! It did cross my mind that he (I assume it is a he) could be being sarcastic. He might, perish that thought , think I am timewasting. I thought that was what Ebay was for.
I considered making a 3.25 bid, but delayed for a couple of days.

[ update ] I got bored with this. The seller disappointingly had called me a muppet after I bid 2.99 rather than 999. I'd quite like to know how much it went for - but not urgently.
[ further update ] I have recently been told that the item re-appeared at a "reasonable" Buy it now price of 99. Next it might appear at a brrrriiiinnnngggg and buy sale! I don't give a flying Scotsman anymore.

I have come by two pictures which could easily be taken to be one and the same person.
One is of Peter Green, famed for fast licks and being stoned, whilst the other is noted for lightning wheeler-dealing and being Stone.
But which is which??? ...

I decided to have a jumble on the royal wedding day. I did this on the basis of not imagining many cyclists would be either glued to their TV screen or be down the pub toasting the celebrating royals, I chose that date. I haven't finished in the Tower of London!!!

A proposal accepted, a red letter day and what tandem riders have to endure hearing sung at them.

Click on the Twitter icon for a surprize upper class tweet..

Exclusive to this website!!

Last News of April [added 30th April 2011]

Without bunting, television, champagne or royal celebrations the Will'n'Kate Radcliffe, Notts jumble went ahead, as planned. Photo below. Regretably, the "Cambridges" couldn't make it, citing that they were "otherwise engaged". I thought they already were.

Mark Hudson vs Mark Hudson - Round 1

There are now two Mark Hudsons who organise bike jumbles. How inconvenient is that? Well it might be convenient if one does something wrong - they could blame the other. Or they could fight it out!
Sheffield MH is about 6' 6" tall but I am not certain he has a fighting build or is a fighting type. He has claimed to be the "real" Mark Hudson - but then he is a Yorkshireman and they go for real things there, real whippets, ladies who drink pints etc. He has started up an event in central Sheffield. Some of his stall-holders operate amongst the gravestones. I can see a bishop appearing, and not in Lycra>

'tother Mark operates in Muswell Hill in London.(more later)

(more) Cycling in the news

Added 30th March 2011

Cutting from the Daily Express.
On other pages .....

  • Pope is a catholic and cannot know what his priests do in their spare time,
  • bears would not use forestry-sited portaloos,
  • cider duty increase effects house prices in Ascot
  • Lady Diana chauffeur had only had a small glass of wine and was only going at 55km per hour.
Shock! Horror! 50p! Fiction! Daily Express / Mail (delete as applicable)

I expect someone will say that the YOB has "human rights" - to ride aggressively all the time on pavements, terrifying old folk and riding without a bell or lights.

No joke here and hopefully not the first of many fatalities. All cyclists know what the problem is. The potholes which were unfixed or badly repaired by the start of the winter are the ones that now are life-threatening.
Potholes should be undercut so that the patch stays put. They should also be revisited to determine what effects 40 tonne trucks have had on their handiwork. But we all know that the "repairs" are 30 second bodges only after the pothole has been left for donkey's years (with a yellow ring marking it).

Final thought for the day. If a criminal uses a car for getting to and from his crime scene he is never a motorist.
But if someone uses a bike ............

'mere insult

The most vile slur has been made against our honourable, shared interest / enthusiasm / obsession associated with bicycles. It is a jibe so serious that I think I should share it with you.
In the Times sports pages on 1st July 2010 was a story of Tranmere Rovers Football Club being offered for sale on Ebay. It was put there by agents and priced at 6m (free post and packaging, no returns). Peter Johnson, the chairman, was moved to rail against this trading idea by saying "It is not a second-hand bike we're selling".
What? Fancy being compared to a third rate (even by Merseyside standards) outfit which had produced only consistent mediocrity and one player, John "Buzz" Aldridge, of any note. When Liverpool's Ian Rush declined, Aldridge was installed in his place at Anfield , complete with lookalike handlebar moustache. Tranmere are, I suggest, the Halfords Apollo of football.
What on earth would famous scouse frame/wheel-builder Pete Matthews would think. SC

PS [September 27th 2009] John Barnes appointed manager. Then, to prove my point. 6 defeats in a row. He'll soon be on his bike!

PPS. [November 2009] What did I say? John Barnes sacked. This is a curse upon Peter Johnson, surely. And his team are not doing much better since John Barnes left!
Now you won't believe this but he arrived for work each day on his bike but later was pictured decanting it into a car boot as he left for the last time. Didn't fancy the ride back, obviously. Poor John. Nice chap.

The internet goes quiet - Sheldon Brown dies

This amazing bloke passed away on February 3rd 2008 of a sudden heart attack.
Click on whos who page to find out more and do visit his amazing and brilliant websites listed there.

Click here to see Flash video of David Cameron's infamous bike ride

Click here to read marvelous paper on the last 25 years of Raleigh - by Tony Hadland

Publicising Events.

Publicising a bike jumble can be done in many ways. From John of Ripley who actively discourages people coming, to my resorting to being interviewed on local radio. For an example of the latter click on the radio. It might not be an example of how to go about it but it should cause a smile. Thanks to the wonderful John Holmes of Radio Nottingham

News from the desert

We all think that bike jumbles must be British only. The photo right shows that this is not the case.
It is at Adge in the Moroccan Sahara. I was tempted to buy the red frame but I thought with my 6ft body, it might be a little small.

Revolution in the cycling world (added 1st April 2007)

It now emerges why Lance Armstrong retired. Nothing to do with problems with Beryl Crowsfeet or his being fed up / piste off going up and down the Alpe d'Huez. Nor because of his consumption of Alcopops. No it is to do with the new UCI Protour regulations. They have just dictated that riders will be provided with bikes to negate the effects of the machine. Riders will draw lots. The first out of the hat may get a Trek Carbonio Special, the last might get the delivery bike of the Cheval qui rire Boucherie. "Eat eaze zay vay of egalitarianism" said Alphonse Enorme, the UCI spokeperson.

To counter accusations of sexual bias (displaying Brookes lady) I am not biased
That's the bottom line

Return to Homepage